Honestly this month has just started and I already am dreading Christmas time and New Years. I seriously feel so depressed about this whole month. It's so crazy to think that it's already going to be a year without my princess by my side. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her or picture her personality around what we're doing. Thanksgiving we drove up to Arizona it was a very great Thanksgiving with the while family but its si craxy to see how few of us are here. We are such a big family with so much love and the three angels that left us all too soon left a big void in my heart. While we were in Arizona I could just picture her running around playing with her cousins. She loved visiting Arizona and she would always stay awake through the whole five hour drive. We were always welcomed with such open arms that she would always want to go back. I know she was there in spirit making sure we all made good memories. I have came to the realization that you can't rush into a relationship when you are still hirting from the past. No matter how strong others think you are only you as a person know how you truly are feeling. All the pain and sorrow isn't good to be bottled up. Sometimes you just have to let it all out and cry. I honestly wish I can vanish for two months and then resume back with my life as if nothing has happened. My two boys are so excited for Christmas and I can't find it in myself to gather up the strength to be as joyous and excited as them. I honestly feel like I'm Scrooge without the bad attitude but more the feelig of not liking Christmas. I honestly hope you all enjoy amazing family times through the holidays and just remember to love others and tell all your family how much you love them.
