Ok so I know that majority of the time I may seem to be fine. There are days where although I carry a smile on my face I am aching in deep pain. Many times it is hard to express your grief by sadness because we are trying to be strong for others. I myself try to remain strong for my kids and my mother. In all honesty for about a month or two I wanted to know nothing or do nothing with anybody. If I had the choice to sleep all day and not even eat I would take it. It was not like that due to the fact that I had my two little boys who depend on me fully. Although I am in a much better place than I was before there are times where I feel like everything is just way too much. As if I am doing and going for everyone else but not because of my desires. There are times where I just want to enjoy my long shower so I can release the tears behind closed doors but that doesn't happen either. Yet I want to thank each and every one of my friends for each text that I receive or direct message to check how I'm doing. I know life is not easy without my baby girl but she makes sure that I'm surrounded by many loving friends so I may never be alone. I know she makes sure to keep her brothers full of energy so I can stay on my toes and alert to keep them busy. My kids are my motivation through it all. Thank you to my friends and family that let me hug & play with your children it helps me so much more than you will ever know. Smile more and judge less because everyone is facing a different struggle in their life each day. Love you all.
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