Unanswered questions...

What unanswered questions, if any, do you have about your child's passing?
I have so many unanswered questions that I don't even know where to start. First off is if she suffered during her death I can't imagine what she must've felt. I often question if I could have done more to help her. I wonder what the actual cause of the fire was. We never got a concrete answer of what started the fire that morning. I question if we would have stayed up longer if we would all have gotten out safe. It's still crazy to think that we had only been sleeping for two hours before the fire broke out. I myself often wonder why I was the first one to wake up especially since I'm the heaviest sleeper out of our family. Although that has now changed since the accident. I also wonder if we had woken up sooner or reacted differently if the outcome would have been different. There are so many unanswered questions & sometimes thinking about them all is no good for me. It puts me back into that night makes me feel the same panic & worry all over again. It makes me feel like a failure for not being able to withstand the smoke to help them get out to safety. I know I did everything I could but sometimes I wonder if I would have gone past the person holding me back if I would have been successful in rescuing my baby girl. So many questions that I will never know the answers to. These questions might haunt me for a while if I let them. I try not think about that night but rather the days before the accident. After the accident I'm trying to cope as best as I can with life. It's sad to say that one has been traumatized with that incident. The smell of fire hits my nose and the first alert is to rush to my kids and make sure I can protect them. I know my life along with that of my children and family will never be the same.