Worries...

Do you have any new fears or worries since you lost your child?

I honestly do have several new fears/worries. My worst fear is that I might end up loosing another one of my children. I honestly think the loss of a child is one of the worst pains you have to go through as a parent. I had always heard that a parent shouldn't have to bury their child & honestly I doubt the pain is any less the other way around. Death in it's own is a heartache. I also fear that we might be sleeping and have another emergency. Sleep was very hard the first few weeks I would sleep about three hours if that. I would be so scared to fall asleep & there be an emergency and I would wake up too late. Even now there's days in which I sleep more because I have to not because I want to. I also often worry for my children. I worry that since they are so young they have all these built up questions about everything but don't know how to ask about their concerns. I know that they miss their sister alot. I also worry now about the financial hardship after death. I know it's something that many people don't like to talk about but I am starting to look into paying off a spot at the cemetery. Looking into making funeral arrangements because I do not want my loved ones to be left with that debt in their hands. It is a scary subject but it's not something we can avoid so I choose to be more prepared for my future heartbreak. I love you all and thanks for following along.